The Other Boleyn Girl - Natalie Portman, Scarlett Johansson, Eric Bana
Director - Justin Chadwick

The word ‘romp’ is often used to describe this sort of period film. While that word is fitting when talking about the superb novel by historical fiction wirter Philippa Gregory, it does not really apply to Justin Chadwick’s so-so adaptation.

The story follows the ambitious Boleyn family at the court of Henry VIII, 28 years into his reign. He is married to the pious Katherine of Aragon, a Spanish princess and fierce Catholic. Henry takes Mary Boleyn, the older and wiser (and the more beautiful) sister of Anne Boleyn as his mistress. The two fall in love and Mary falls pregnant. The pregnancy is complicated and while she is in confinement, Henry falls for Anne, just returned from the French court. While Mary produces a son, Anne seduces Henry and convinces him to marry her. In order to do so, he must break from the Catholic church and reform England entirely. Henry, madly in love, does so and the country is thrown into chaos. Anne, however, fails to produce the coveted male heir, and subsequently Henry tires of her. Realising his country will not withstand another royal divorce, his advisors devise a plot to have Anne beheaded for treason. They just need the confessors…

Firstly, and most importantly, two of the three main characters in this story are English legends. Henry VIII was arguably the most influential monarch we have ever had on the throne, followed closely by his and Anne’s daughter Elizabeth I. Anne was a feisty, opinionated, supremely intelligent queen consort, in a time when women were never allowed to be any of those things. The most engaging of Henry Tudor’s many wives, and the most controversial, splitting the opinions of historians and casual readers alike. So, why three decidedly non-English actors were chosen to play these parts is beyond me. Their accents were very odd, especially Natalie Portman’s slightly South-African drawl.

The story of Anne Boleyn that Philippa Gregory embellishes is the more controversial one that assumes the counts of treason, incest and adultery against Anne were all true. Particularly the part about Anne sleeping with her -possibly gay- brother to make an heir for the crown. The fetus is miscarried weeks into the pregnancy, badly deformed and George’s suspicious wife takes her concerns to the King.

Apparently though, Chadwick felt that delicate movie-goers could not handle this and promptly changed the story line so that George’s wife over hears them talking about it, runs off to tell the king and conveniently misses the part where George cries on Anne’s fully-clothed shoulder and says he’s sorry, but he just can’t go through with it.

While the sets and costumes were breath-taking, and Scarlett Johannson’s portrayal of the Other Boleyn Girl, Mary, who sleeps with the King first and bore his bastard child an heir is good, the rest of the movie falls flat. Henry was a charismatic, fiery, tyrant of a King, none of which is evident from Bana’s bland portrayal of him. Portman does her best with a weak script, but her efforts to portray Anne as well-learned and charming actually come across as smug and vicious.

The whole movie struck me as solely a money-grabbing exercise, from the casting of foreign megastars in place of British stars or God-forbid - unknowns, to the removal of the incest storyline to appease viewers and keep the certification low enough to attract the highest audience figures possible.

The next project for Chadwick is the haunting ‘Birdsong’ by one of the best novelists in the world, Sebastian Faulks. His attempt at one period drama went hopelessly awry, I don’t have high hopes for this next much larger, much more complex challenge.